I’m not going to eat between meals and I’m not going to take seconds. Just Today. And I’ll try this for a year to see what happens.
People ask me how much more weight I want to lose, or how long will I be on this ‘diet.’ And I’m always taken by surprise by the question. Because I’m not thinking of a number and I’m not on a ‘diet.’ As I’ve said here many times and as I say when people ask, I eat whatever I want to eat. I just don’t always eat it when I first want to eat it.
But, I can tell that this makes some people nervous. And maybe it makes you nervous too. Because, the next question often is, “How will you know when you’re done?” . . . It seems that everyone wants a ‘diet’ to end.
My struggle isn’t to get to a certain weight, it’s to control my obesity and diabetes — two health conditions that are not curable. So there is no victory for me in getting to a certain weight. I assure you, I’ve done that before, several times. In considering my past ‘diets’ a success because I reached a certain weight, I made a serious, nearly fatal error. By ending my ‘diet’ I quickly reestablished my old, bad eating habits and regained all the weight I’d worked so hard to lose.
To combat this cycle I invented The Commitment. The Commitment is not a ‘diet.’ The Commitment is a promise to myself that Just Today, I’m going to be in control. It’s the opposite of the endlessly depressing cycle of ‘diets’. And by working on The Commitment everyday, I’m making it a habit, like brushing my teeth or wearing socks around the house. And it’s becoming easier all the time.
I think Victory will come when The Commitment becomes easy — but I don’t know, maybe the challenge is part of what makes it work? I know what I’ll win — my life and my health. And I suspect that it’ll be a long time before I know these answers for sure.
There are a lot of reasons I think you’re brilliant, Kb, and this post demonstrates quite a few of them. The idea of not thinking of yourself as being on a diet. . .of not thinking of doing something that has an end point. . .the idea of Not What, But When. . .the idea of getting control for a lifetime one day at a time and then one year at a time. . .the way you discovered what made you and other people fail in the past. . .and then found a way to solve that puzzle.
I’ll have one of those yummy victory things when I sit down to lunch knowing I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.
What kansas said about kbird’s brilliance! Thanks to her wisdom, I also have a little voice that says to me, is that what you are supposed to be eating? Is this the time you are supposed to be eating it?
Because this is a very Flexible Commitment. I do eat between meals. I’m not trying to lose weight. On the contrary, I sometimes have to make an effort to get enough calories, but what this tells me is that so many of the calories I was getting before were not really contributing a lot to my nutrition!
Eating between meals doesn’t mean that I just wander down and pick up an eclair whenever I feel like it. Well, not as a rule. I do sin sometimes
But for the most part, I have been able to make these drastic changes in my diet and gain control over it because of the little voice, and because I am doing it just for today. And if I fall off the camel, I don’t have to declare that I have failed, or even anguish over it too much, just get back on the camel. And that is a victory all by itself.
For me, the ultimate victory will be when my blood sugar is always normal. And an even greater victory would be if I did not want coca cola and sweet tea every day, but that may not happen, it may be like an alcoholic, who also has to live just 4 today. Maybe victory will be accepting that.
Thank you so much for these very, very kind and encouraging words. For some reason I felt very unsure of this particular article and almost posted a note that I’d fix it when I got home. So, your praise is especially welcome today!
katieb — kansas and Duct are right! I am really blown away by your posts. Every day you have a new post that is full of interesting ideas, or solid information. It’s obvious that you’ve thought about these concepts. And above all you have a very positive message. Just for today. What you are writing here is 1000x better than any diet-type book I’ve ever read.
{{Olivia}} Thank you so much!