“I’m not going to eat between meals and I’m not going to take seconds. Just Today. And I’m going to try this for a year to see what happens.”

This is katiebird’s commitment, as stated by her every day. As I was lurking on BoomanTribune, I read a post by her about this new blog that she had created, for people who had weight & health issues, and I was drawn in. I started reading the messages every day, and found myself intrigued by the simple – yet effective – message that is the Commitment. At the same time, I wondered how such a commitmentwould apply to me. Surely I’m not that out of control, that I would need to make a commitment every day? As those first few weeks of Eat4Today went on, I read but did not act. Until I read Puget4′s post about depression, and realized that I was spiralling downwards myself. I was unsure of my path in life, and was eating whatever unhealthy foods I could get my hands on as compensation. Over a course of about 6 weeks (unfortunately including a few weeks after reading that post), I put on between 7-10 pounds – knowing that added just to my misery.

However, somewhere along the line the idea of the commitment started to seep in. So I finally decided to get myself an account on this site, and start my own commitment – to drink 2L of water per day, and not eat between meals. It has worked, though I’ve strayed from this commitment more than I’d like – Chalk that up to not being the most mature of 25 year-olds. 6 weeks later, I haven’t gained any weight, and my clothes do fit better than when I started. Most importantly, I’ve come around to a new way of thinking about myself & my weight issues. For too long, food has been my crutch, my balm to soothe a myriad of issues, my means of celebration. I love food, whether it’s the taste of something new or the taste of old favorites, but it is no longer the default state. I understand now that this will be a life-long challenge: getting to and maintaining a healthy weight and a healthy lifestyle. More importantly, this issue (disease?) is not my identity anymore. And that is what my commitment means to me.