The first number is 165 — I haven’t gained or lost any weight to speak of for weeks. Every morning this number is one of the first things I see. And, in a sense, I’m getting sick of it. On the other hand, it’s not 170. That would make me much more than sick.
1,750 the next number — the number of calories in 1/2-pound. When I was gaining that 1/2-pound a week, this was the critical number. That or 250, the number of calories I was overeating every day.
And those are seriously puny numbers. Tiny, tiny mistakes that added up to 15 pounds over those 30 weeks when I wasn’t being quite as obsessive about my eating habits.
Hanging on
0 — not such a bad number, all things considered. Not great — but I see it as a reasonable compromise. And a reminder that this weight control thing is possible. I mean, zero pretty much proves I’m controlling something. Doesn’t it?
So today I had lunch. It was a tasty sandwich (with piles of romaine lettuce & tomatoes) and baby carrots (from Aldi — not woody in taste or texture) and you’d think it would be filling. But, I’m still starving. It shouldn’t be possible. But, I’m really (even after typing all this) really hungry.
After dithering around for a while, I went out to find a little something (maybe a roll?) to eat. But, as I walked up the street, I thought about the number of calories in a roll (not even a pastry) — and it could easily be a couple of hundred calories. It would certainly be over a hundred calories.
And I started thinking about the power of small numbers. And the cost of those tiny numbers. And whether I had lasting pleasure of any of those other snacks I had during the months when my weight was creeping up 1/2-pound a week.
I turned the corner — away from the bakery and the tempting shops.
And I kept walking.
Hi KB. I’m in the same place physically – attempting to lose day after day, but just plateauing. For me the numbers are different – 1500, the number it now takes for me just to maintain, and 1200, the number I am trying to stick to, miserably.
Unfortunately, I am now dealing the the psychological element of binging as well. My husband just went to go park the car, and I am afraid he is never coming back. We just had a fight. I am both angry with the fact that he doesn’t take responsibility for his part of the fight and afraid that he will go sleep in his car somewhere (this has never happened yet, but he’s come close).
I immediately started eating passion fruit sorbet (ironically) and then stopped, realizing it was the start of what would otherwise become a 2000 calorie binge. I know this because this is what I have done in the past when feeling this upset. Thinness will NOT solve my problems, however hurting myself by binging not only won’t solve them, it’ll also make me feel WORSE tonight and tomorrow. It’ll make me feel sick and sluggish tomorrow and then get fat. So I’m trying the whole support group thing right now. By confessing to all of you, I am trying to stop it from happening.
In the past during moments like this I have binged on MUCH worse foods then sorbet, and in much larger amounts.
This is not just about how many calories are in sorbet. This is about taking responsibility for yourself and NOT hurting yourself even further when you are already hurting.
I hope my posting here works – at least to stop me from doing this, although it won’t solve my personal problems.
Hi, Bombshell. I’m sorry about the fight with your husband. Funny, in our family, it’s me that goes out to the car. And I never really thought about it from the perspective of the person still at home.
Would it help for you to leave at the same time and go for a walk? To burn off some steam by taking a brisk walk? Instead of going to the kitchen?
I know that walk I took really helped me.
But, walking doesn’t help me if I’m mad or worried. I end up ruminating and not in a good way. So, it’s not always the answer.
Bombshell, I’ve been thinking about this for an hour and I don’t know if I’m saying anything useful. But, I guess that’s part of a discussion. Ideas can develop with our interaction.
Or maybe the discussion (and the typing) can keep us out of the kitchen when we’re most vulnerable.
(I hope your husband gets back soon — xxoo)
Pingback: Eat4Today » A place to discuss food and eating and the state of the world » Blog Archive » Lunch time fake-out: One Lunch IS enough
KB, my husband did come back intact.
I did eat some more after I posted, but WAY less than I might have.
I am in the same place as you – trying to lose, but maintaining. I diligently count calories each day but then blow it by munching at the end of the night on idiotic foods like raisins (hidden evil).
At least I am maintaining, not gaining. Getting back into it is the worst. There is no way around it: you WILL feel like #$%! on the first day when you actually eat below what you burn. You will feel hungry and bad. After a few days you won’t FEEL bad, but you’ll continue to burn.
Bombshell, I’m so glad. About him coming back. And that you didn’t eat quite as much as you might have.
My husband made a wonderful dinner tonight and I think I ate a little too much. But, it was a really special, nice dinner that he made because he remembered me describing something similar a couple of nights ago. So, I’m NOT going to feel bad about it.
In fact, after not eating anything extra all afternoon even though I was jumping out of my skin with hunger….eating a healthy sized dinner isn’t bad.
In fact, I told him to write it down in the cookbook and call it “Bird’s Favorite Dinner”
(are you resting?)
Bombshell, I don’t know if this will help or not, but it’s worth a thought. Mrs. Fetched and I both have noticed that we start snarling at each other when we need to eat. We’ll be going at it, then one of us will say, “Huh. I think we need to eat something.” And recognizing the real problem is usually enough to defuse the situation. We grab lunch and all is right with the world.
The psychological component of eating healthy is just as important as the physical. If you’re at a plateau, it might be best to just stay there for a while — let your bod get used to the situation, so it gets complacent & gets out of starvation mode, then start working on that next 5 or 10 pounds.
The plateau is where I am now: hovering between 202 and 207. I really really want to get that first digit to say “1″ but I could just as easily start binging as lose the next 3-8 pounds if I push too hard. When I start to despair, I remind myself that I started from 225. Those pounds went on over a number of years; they’ll come off faster than that but not immediately. The next 10 pounds are going to be harder than the last 20, but if I do get to 190 I’m going to call it good enough.
FF, we learned that trick about eating when our trouble boy was involved with a woman of dangerous temper. She was a lot less dangerous when she was fed. So we were always bringing out the food when she was around.
And I like your theory of plateau too.