My plan to become slender and willowy and alluring is not working out and the reason seems to be that though I go for days and days eating only celery and RyKrisp and a soup made from birch twigs and lichen, I black out occasionally and when I regain consciousness I am crouched over the half-eaten carcass of a gazelle and my hands and face are red and sticky and I’m disgusted, of course, and yet very rare gazelle does taste good when you’re hungry, and the exertion of chasing one and bringing it down does make a person ravenous.

- Garrison Keillor, A Puritan’s Path To Weight Loss and Eternal Happiness

I spent the weekend cleaning closets and trying to distract myself from the attractive treats calling me from the kitchen. Aside from the occasional lapse (where I’d duck into the refrigerator for a slice of cheese) the weekend was mostly successful. The closets are clean and the treats are (mostly) still there. Continue reading →